Penny the Pothos and a Season of Change

I accidentally knocked my plant, Penny the pothos, off my 2nd story porch the other day and I had a complete meltdown. The terra-cotta pot shattered, dirt was everywhere and Penny lay there, a hopeless mess.  I just sat in the dirt looking at it and starting ugly crying.  This plant has been with me for years, though moves, deployments, divorce, ups and downs and I have always had this plant to care for at least.

My roommate gently reminded me that I’m crying over a plant. It was day 7 of no work, consumed by the news of people getting sick and dying, vulnerable, and totally overwhelmed about the loss of work + the economy and that particular day all I could do was flounder around until my plant broke. It felt like a euphemism to everything going on.

After a bit of wallowing, my best friend reminded me pothos are very resilient plants. I replaced the pot, my roommate got me a heap of soil from the community compost we contribute to and I was able to put Penny into 3 different pots. The largest one is still a little wilty but it seems to be on the up and I was able to give my roommate a new little plant. Now to just leave it alone, and take it one day at a time.

I’m finding a few silver linings to our situation, too. I was over-worked - not turning down a single job/sub opportunity/massage and sincerely needed a break. I’m able to sleep in finally, to stay up until 2 am listening to music and craft, to be more sustainable (financially and environmentally!) day-to-day, to re-establish relationships with so many wonderful friends + family that have reach out, read more, write more, learn about this technology that allows me to work remotely, practice with teachers I haven’t seen in a decade. And more importantly to worry about tomorrow tomorrow. I’m finally starting to feel at home in myself again.

I’ve always struggled with anxiety + depression and this is an important reminder that this out of my control, so appreciate what I have right now. And take care of yourself! Shower! Call someone you love. Put on a dress even if you’re not leaving the house. Unfollow/mute accounts that are contributing to that anxiety. And you might {re}discover yourself.


Photos taken by Eric Yagoda

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